I’ve been contemplating a pretty interesting thing lately, at least I think it’s interesting.  I’ve been wondering about people’s underlying orientation to life … what their core relationship and association to living is. 

As a Law of Attraction practitioner, I know that like attracts like – that things of similar or fitting nature are drawn to one another. That we cluster.  Therefore, our basic orientation to life is a very powerful thing … probably one of the most, if not THE most, fundamental attraction factor in our life. 

Orientations:
So what do I mean by orientation?  I mean, how do you think and feel about life?  What is your natural tendency towards it?  Do you embrace life?  Do you fear it?  Does it bring up feelings of warmth? Security? Stability?  Do you trust your place and/or place your trust in it?  Do you think of it as a game?  Are you lighthearted or serious about life? Empowered?  Powerless? Just how do you feel about being here in this strange, weird and wonderful thing that we call life?!

Your Signal:
In Law of Attraction, the theory is that we emit a signal or vibration due to the habitual things that we focus on and feel. That we attract things that are a vibrational match to what we constantly beat a drum about – draw them to us like a big magnet.

Seems to me that one of the core things we can consider is what underlying signal about life are we putting out?  How do we really, deep down, feel about being here? About participating in life?  About being on this planet with its other inhabitants?  Because it’s that deep down (sometimes sub-conscious) stuff that really forms the base of our vibration. That can help explain some of why people are getting what they are getting.

The Enneagram:
There is a tool that I sometimes use in my coaching work with clients – called the Enneagram. You may be familiar with it … it’s a 9 type personality system who’s origin is linked to the Sufis (although there is some dispute about that).

Each of these nine types represents an orientation to life or worldview based off of early decisions we make as children (decisions often set before we had rational reasoning I might add).  Some authors call it our ‘core wound’ or our ‘fixation’ and its often built upon a cognitive error of some sort influenced by your early environment – i.e. thinking you are unlovable, or that your value is based upon how others perceive you (the two) or on what you do (the three), or that people can’t be trusted (the five), or are weak or unpredictable (therefore you either must live your life in fear (the six) or you must be the strong leader (the eight), etc. 

People drop hints (often without their conscious awareness) about their worldview through the language that they use.  When I create a client’s Life Map, I often hear (and then draw out) the exact language, metaphors and imagery they are using – so it can be mirrored back to them.  If their use of enneagram type language is really strong, I break out one of my enneagram books and assign it as homework – so they have a greater understanding of how they tend to think and feel and what we are working with as a starting point (what we will be SHIFTing if it is not serving them).

1. The Reformer: is principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.
2. The Helper: The Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing Person, Possessive Person
3. The Achiever: The Adaptable, Excelling, Driven, Image-Conscious Person.
4. The Individualist: The Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental Person
5. The Investigator: The Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, Isolated Person.

6. The Loyalist: The Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, Suspicious Person
7. The Enthusiast: The Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, Scattered Person
8. The Challenger: The Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, Confrontational Person
9. The Peacemaker: The Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable and Complacent Person.
10. Don Riso, Understanding the Enneagram

Identify Your Type:
I’ve known about the Enneagram for over 15 years, but it’s only recently that I have really, solidly and firmly come to understand (and appreciate) which type I personally am and the role that plays in my life – particularly from a Law of Attraction point of view. 

It’s not unusual to mistype yourself, especially if you are young and haven’t had the opportunity of seeing how things play out over the longer term. Or, if you are a person who hasn’t had a lot of time or aptitude to really look carefully at your inner world. 

Don Riso, one of my favorite Enneagram authors does offer an online test called The Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator, should you like to identify your own type.

The Virtues:
The thing that I really like about the Enneagram is that the good material about it points us towards what we can do to reach greater levels of satisfaction, integration and health in our lives.  If our type is based off of a specific erroneous fixation or wound, then the way out (the flip!) is through the cultivation of a specific ‘virtue’ … a quality or state that is the anecdote so to speak.  In Law of Attraction speak this is the state that we need ‘to find the feeling place of’ or ‘the vibration’ that we need to emit to make a SHIFT in our life and overcome our automatic or habitual tendencies. 

An Example:
Well, nothing like using myself as an example and continuing my habit of self disclosure.  I am a 6 on the Enneagram – the Loyalist.  The fortunate part of being a Loyalist is that I’m dependable, friendly, responsible and generally get along well with people – endearing.  The unfortunate part is, due to my perceived interpretation of my early environment as being unstable, erratic, constantly changing, unpredictable (and therefore not particularly safe), I have a bit of a problem with fear and being a chickenshit! 
The Six is an interesting type, in that there are two flavors.  One type of six is a ‘phobic’ – the type of person who is obviously timid, shaky and scared.  The other type of six is called a counter-phobic (that is what I am).  Their response to fear is to move towards it rather than move away from it … fight rather than flight.  Extreme athletes, daredevils, emergency workers, gangs … they are all examples of counter phobic sixes.  They don’t seem to be scared on the surface, but if you go down deeper, you will see that their reactions are coming from an anxiety about the environment and their ability to deal with it … they conquer it to make themselves feel better.

From the table above, we can see that the virtue (the quality to be developed) is, no surprise, courage.  Not the flashy courage of being a risk taker and reacting from an anxious place, but the real courage of knowing that one is ok in the world. Some of the more spiritual books also call this ‘holy faith’ or ‘holy strength’.  The kind of feeling place that you know life has your back, that there truly is nothing or no-one to be afraid of. 

So, in my Law of Attraction practices (a few that I listed out last issue), I am really focusing on ‘finding the feeling place’ of courage, strength and faith.  That action is great and all, but locating the calm feeling of the world being stable, secure, and safe (no matter what happens) is my current Law of Attraction homework.  The great thing is, as we find the feeling of things that are good but unfamiliar to us, it changes our vibration. It literally changes what we are a vibrational match to – things on the outside re-orient themselves to reflect the change in our worldview.

Recommended Resources:
Obviously in an article of this nature, I can only skim the surface and hope you get the point of why this kind of system can be useful – it helps you identify your good and problematic tendencies and points towards the solution that needs to be cultivated for greater health and happiness. 

A study of the Enneagram can go quite deep, depending on which authors you research. Here are a few of my favorite authors to get you started, if you are resonating with what I’m throwing down – wink.

Understanding the Enneagram, Don Riso

The Enneagram, Helen Palmer

The Enneagram of Passions & Virtues: Finding Your Way Home, Sandra Maitri

Once you have your type identified (or at least a likely type to start experimenting with) I invite you to do the emotional and vibrational work of finding the feeling place of your ‘virtue’.  What’s it feel like to stand in that kind of energy? What would life be like if you came from that worldview as a matter of habit?  What would your new story be if you lead with your virtue rather than your fixation?  I look forward to hearing your answers and having you experience your new energy state and all that it attracts!

Are you a coach, facilitator, trainer – or some other type of helping professional or process leader?  If so, you’ll want to add the super-charged power of working visually to your own skills toolkit!

Working visually with groups and individuals is known by many terms: graphic recording, graphic facilitation, visual thinking, visual synthesis, meeting graphics, group graphics, etc.  I’ve used these powerful foundational skills in my work for the last 17+ years as a successful strategic planning & visioning facilitator and in my cutting edge ‘graphic coaching’ practice as The SHIFT-IT Coach.

Not only are the visual skills crowd pleasing (clients love them, since 87% of them are visual thinkers!) but they are fun and personally gratifying to use too.

And, they make you stand out from the crowd (a valuable differentiator) that results in enhanced income and wider client range.

Come To …

THE GRAPHIC COACHING CLINIC

November 4-6, 2009 | Victora, British Columbia, Canada

In this highly experiential, information packed, fun, and limits-shattering training you learn the foundational theory and skills of working visually in group and individual settings … and roll up your sleeves and do it yourself!  

You emerge with a thorough understanding of the different ways interactive graphics can be used with individuals, partners and groups … and are pleasantly surprised by how much YOU can do yourself after just three days. 

Plus you meet other interesting, inspiring people doing cool work in the world –– members of your global graphic tribe!

Workshop’s Agenda Chart

Visual Techniques Can Be Applied To A Whole Myriad Of Groups and Personal Development Processes …

Inteactive-Graphics can be applied to all sorts of group and individual settings … including but not limited to …

Click Here for Full Workshop Details

Learning & Practicing Basic Icons

You will …

• Really Get What This Graphics Stuff Is All About And Have Your Eyes Opened Wide To The AWESOME OPPORTUNITIES That Lay Before You (as you integrate these new skills into your own coaching, facilitation or training practice)
• Feel The Markers In Your Hand And All The Other Cool Art and Graphic Supplies You Now Have Free License To Play With On A Regular Basis – As Part Of Your Work!
• Get Practical Instruction in All of the Four Main Applications of the Visual Way of Working: Custom Chart Work, Graphic Recording, Graphic Facilitation and Graphic Coaching (and identify which area you are most interested and comfortable in)
• Be Pleasantly Surprised By What You Can Do After Just 3 Days – Know That This Work Isn’t A Hard New Beginning, But Rather A Natural Build Upon Who You Already Are And the Work You Already Do (that you can immediately bring back with you and do!)
• Be Inspired And Impressed By The Interesting People From Across North America (and the globe!) Who You’ll Meet at This Workshop –… Learn From Each Other, Make Friends, Share Resources, Network and Bond
• Walk Out With A Renewed Interest in Your Profession – Knowing You’ve Found Something That Really Suits You And The Way You Operate In The World … That You Don’t Have To Compromise Your Creative Side Any Longer – There Is A Way to Enjoyably And Profitably Express It.

Designing Small Size Templates

Life Mapping in Pairs

8 SPOTS LEFT

To ensure plenty of individual attention, this workshop is capped at just 21 participants.

Click Here for Full Details and Online Registration

Early Bird Pricing Until September 1st (save $500!).
Convenient Payment Plans Available (up to 12 months).

I look forward to training you in the graphic way of working.  Remember, you do NOT have to be an artist to employ visuals with your client work.  There is a full spectrum of applications and a place on it for everyone to be comfortable!

Now is the perfect time to develop your skills so you can do work that is more effective for your clients (and more enjoyable, fun and lucrative for you!). 

P.S. Remember, there is a GREAT early bird special on until September 1st plus handy payment plans to make it very easy for you to join us. For much more information, including specifics on what we cover during this three-day event, just click here.

P.P.S.  Sometimes people are really pulled to come to this workshop and don’t quite understand why (its not a rational decision but an intuitive one). Like my previous attendee Val, who wrote two and half months later to tell me she landed an Executive Director position at double her salary – by using ‘graphics’ to seal the deal (she used a graphic template to not only interview the Board that was interviewing her, but to engage the front line staff as well – which they loved!). Needless to say, she (and her loving but somewhat skeptical husband) were very happy with her return on investment and that she followed her intuition to come!

NEXT FREE SOOTHING SATURDAY CALL: SATURDAY, MAY 9TH

10-11:30am Pacific (11 Mnt, Noon Central, 1pm Eastern)

… with special guest:

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Specialist, BRAD YATES

EFT is a meridian-based energy therapy for removing the negative emotions that limit our success. Using this technique, you can gain the emotional freedom to truly pursue being, doing and having what you really want in life.

It is a simple technique that often provides rapid relief from physical-emotional issues (e.g. Trauma, PTSD, Phobias, Grief, Anger, Guilt, Anxiety, Addictive Cravings, Nightmares, Abandonment, Fear of Public Speaking, Fear of Flying, Love Pain, Depression, Pain, Headaches and much more).

I’ve worked personally with Brad and have asked him to be my Soothing Saturday guest for a number of reasons.  First off, Brad is a master with Law of Attraction based language (something I’m a big proponent of). Also, EFT fits in beautifully with the ‘Trouble at the Border’ stage of my SHIFT-IT work.  It really helps soothe, soften and move beyond the internal and external borders that people erect between themselves and what they truly desire. 

Brad phrases is work as being an Evolution Catalyst. He is known Internationally for his creative and often humorous use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Combining this background with training in energy psychology and various schools of thought in the area of personal growth and achievement, he coaches groups and individuals in achieving greater success, health and happiness in their lives.

Register Here for This Free Call

On Saturday, May 9^th come join Brad and I as we discuss and demo:

• What the ‘Emotional Freedom Technique’ (EFT) Is …And Isn’t;
• How EFT Is Done And Why You Might Want to Consider It As a ‘Border Busting’ Tool for Yourself;
• How Law of Attraction Based Principles Can Be Used With EFT;
• Typical Issues and Areas of Focus That EFT Can Be Particularly Effective With;
• Plus, Live Q&A and Coaching with Brad and Myself on the Call (bring your specific questions and issues you want to get help on!).

 If you haven’t participated in a Soothing Saturday call before, simply click here to register. 

If you are unable to make the live call, we will distribute an mp3 recording afterwards (to those register). 

 (FYI, if you have already participated on a Soothing Saturday call – no need to re-register as you are already on the Soothing Saturday list … so you will be sent details automatically). 

Looking forward to having a soothing and illuminating call!

Yours in SHIFTing IT:

Christina Merkley

The SHIFT-IT Coach

As I’ve written about in other articles this year, I’m making a SHIFT in my own life. For years my focus has been on defining and building my creative niche and getting my business and finances into shape. As a single woman (I left an unpleasant relationship back in 2002) it’s been really important to me to create a solid professional and financial life through my unique interest areas. To do what I really love, be of service and have pr0sperity flow in a sustainable and spiritual way. Happily this process has gone very well and I now coach others on how to define and m0netize their interests and talents.

With my right livelihood in a satisfying place, I am now turning my attention to the other areas of life that have been a bit neglected — body/health, relationship and fun & recreation.

In this article, I’d like to share some of the relationship resources that I like and regularly recommend to my clients, depending on what is up for them:

Clean Up Work:
For clients who have problematic patterns in their relationships like not being able to sustain a relationship (if they want to) or attracting unavailable or abusive partners … I generally recommend a bout of therapy or counseling with a qualified professional to help unlock what is going on at a root level. As a Law of Attraction practitioner, it’s been my experience that some old dynamic is being played out (generally from their early environment and upbringing) and an intervention of some sort is needed to zap their vibration into a healthier place … people mimic what is familiar or known to them.

While the emotional work can be intense for a time, it’s very gratifying to see my client’s ahhas, insights and shifts when they work with a good therapist in conjunction with our coaching work. Most often they were raised in dysfunctional families that stunted their ability to be and express themselves and healthy ways of interacting with loved ones were not modeled well if at all.

First up is identifying and understanding the unhealthy behaviors (so you recognize what you were raised with). Second off is learning what healthy behaviors are and how to start being and attracting them in your relationships.

Some great reading materials (again, best if done in partnership with a counseling professional) are Susan Forward’s Toxic Parents, Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them, Alice Miller’s classic Drama of the Gifted Child
and Karyl McBride’s Will I Ever Be Good Enough.

Clarify What You Want:

When you’ve got a good handle on those problematic family-of-origin issues (or you didn’t have a rough go of it in your early environment to begin with) … another common relationship issue is being unclear about what you next want.

If you are single, given the contrast of your previous relationships, what rockets of desire are being launched now? What kind of relationship do you now want? What kind of person are you most interested in? What role would you most like to play in your relationship? What qualities or attributes do you need to develop in yourself (remember, Law of Attraction tells us that ‘like attracts like’)?

My client Lauren recently recommended a relationship book to me, knowing I’m a big fan of Jerry & Esther Hicks and The Teachings of Abraham. The book is Be Your Own Matchmaker by Patti Stanger.

If you’ve watched Patti’s Millionaire Matchmaker show you might not see the connection with Abraham’s teachings as her tone isn’t exactly touchy feely (she does mention Esther in a couple of places but that is about it). However it was an ‘interesting’ read overall and has some good exercises to help you clarify your ‘man type’ and your relationship values (sorry guys, this one is written for the ladies).

Next Generation / Conscious Relationships:

Part of the difficulty in finding and sustaining happy and healthy relationships in this day and age is the sea change that marriage and gender roles is going through – if you don’t want relationships like the ones that were modeled to you in your youth then you need to ‘find the feeling place’ of something different. Not always an easy task to get the feel for something that you’ve never personally experienced.

One of my favorite, more progressive relationship therapists is Terry Real and his Relational Life Institute. Terry and his colleagues research, write, train and coach on the dilemmas and emerging solutions for current day relationships (including singles, couples, families and organizational leaders). They explain modern relationship dynamics to the layperson and therapist alike, and build language and examples of what relationship, marriage and parenting are evolving into. Great for the person who is interested in conscious parenting and/or conscious partnership rather than just replicating more traditional models.

In Closing:
Obviously the topic area of ‘relationships’ is a massive one, and not to be covered in one short article. My intent here was to share some of the relationship issues that are coming up in my coaching practice at this time and recommended resources. If, like me, this is an area that you are shifting, I hope I’ve given you some good leads. As always, follow what resonates with you – your own emotional guidance system will know what is personally right for you.

© 2009 Christina L. Merkley

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this blurb with it:

Christina Merkley, “The SHIFT-IT Coach” and creator of the SHIFT-IT Method® is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Graphic Facilitation and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and groups in defining and getting what they really, really want. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com

Join me, Christina Merkley (graphic coaching pioneer)  for an informative, fun and info-packed F-R-E-E webinar on using visuals in coaching, counselling, speaking, facilitation, training and consulting settings.

INTRO TO GRAPHIC COACHING WEBINAR

 Date: Thurs. April 16,

 Time: Noon-1:30 pm Pacific (1pm Mn, 2pm Cntrl, 3pm Eastern)

 In this session I will share:

* The Benefits of Working Visually

* What Graphic Coaching Is

* My Journey to Evolve This Unique Coaching Niche

* Range of Formats/Processes

* Tips To Add ‘Graphics’ to Your Own Toolkit

* Resources for Developing Your Skills & Abilities

 … and more!

Apply these visual techniques to a whole myriad of personal development techniques & processes, including:

Brainstorming/idea generation, life mapping, visioning, personal planning & action plans, counseling, conflict resolution/mediation techniques, succession planning, entrepreneur/partner heart-to-hearts, family councils, emotional freedom techniques, sub-personality/psycho synthesis work, law of attraction & manifestation processes, inner child work, tarot readings, etc

… basically whatever process(es) YOU do with your clientele! 

Register for this f-r-e-e INTRO TO GRAPHIC COACHING SEMINAR Now 

 If you are unable to make the live webinar, no problem! …  register anyways and we’ll send you the playback video as soon as its ready!

For More Information and Registration

I look forward to sharing my experience and provoking all sorts of creativity within you! 

Doodlers Unite,

Christina Merkley

Graphic Coaching Pioneer

P.S. Also, hear about my new Global Community of Graphic Coaches (GCGC) … an easy way to help us graphic helping professionals to link with one another from across the globe!

Catchy title eh, nothing like being blunt! Last weekend I attended some live Abraham-Hicks workshops down in L.A.  They are one of my favorite sources for good Law of Attraction and ‘create your own reality’ information.

Again and again, Abraham hammered home the message of ‘get in the vortex’ and ‘tell a new story’.  And teased people about the stories they opened up with, about whether they were being told from out of the vortex of from within (in all cases it was from out of the vortex and they coached people step by step to get back in).

What’s the Vortex?
The vortex is Abraham’s latest way of explaining the feeling of alignment with our greater selves.  As they have explained many times, the most important relationship of our life is between two parts of ourselves:  our physical self and our non-physical self.  It’s all about the relationship between ‘you’ and ‘you’.

Abraham is always creating new analogies to explain their concepts.  Previous ways of describing the vortex have been their ‘going downsteam’ analogy and the idea of ‘vibrational escrow’.  That through the process of life … by bumping up against what we don’t want or like … we get clear about what we do want and like.  And in the moment of defining (asking) for what we truly do want, we get it.  Or, at least our non-physical self gets it.  Unfortunately the ‘getting’ is a little more complicated for our physical selves.

The Role of the Crappy Stuff (Contrast):

Abraham’s term for the crappy stuff that we sometimes bump up against in the process of defining what we want is called ‘contrast’.  It’s this polarity in life – between what you don’t like and what you do – that keeps evolution flowing through you (in fact through all of us and through life in general).  This contrast experience can be pleasant or unpleasant, depending on how we choose to view it and how much resistance we put up against what is unfolding through us.

Basically it works like this: Something happens in life that we don’t feel particularly good about (the crap!)  and in the moment that it happens we also give birth to an awareness about what we would prefer instead.  As soon as we have this awareness, our non-physical self gobbles up our new preference and quickly becomes it.  It has become the desired thing and is having a blast, while our physical world self who encountered the crap is often left behind.

Here is where our physical selves have an opportunity.  We can keep holding the crap (staring at it, bitching about it, and poking at it), or we can drop the crap and put our focus on the desire that it has launched in us.  In essence, we use the crap to define what we do want, and then we drop it and give our full, undivided attention to the new awareness that the crap has birthed.  Our ability to do this is governed by our discipline to maintain our purity of focus.

A very personal example:

I’m going to give you a very personal example (what else is new eh!).  Many of the questions at last weekend’s workshop were about relationship.  Funny and fascinating because I am going through some relationship pondering myself, so I had ample opportunity to use some of the contrast in my own life to apply Abraham’s methods.

I have an old boyfriend in L.A.  He’s smart, very handsome, driven, fit, a dedicated father, etc.  I really like him, always have (we used to date back in grad school before he turned around and married the gal after me).  Now that he is divorced he’s back on the dating scene and we went out for dinner when I was in town.  The problem is (as the book title goes) it appears ‘he ain’t that into me’ … (geez, marrying someone else should have given me a clue eh!).

Now, before you get all feeling sorry for me (and I pull out my violin and really milk this) let me show you how this contrast (crap!) can be used for good. How the so-called bad stuff can be harvested for the so-called good stuff.  While I am using a relationship example, please note that ANY kind of situation can be inserted into this transmutation process.

3 StepTransmutation Process:

First off, in following Abraham’s guidance, I can use this situation to define what it is telling me about what I do want. In short, I can use the negative to define the positive.

Let me just preface this by saying there are many, many, many positive and wonderful things about this particular man. Tons! I could spend my time doing the Positive Aspects process and listing them out (and I do!)  However there are a few little things that I am tired of having in my experience (with him and in the whole dating department).  So I can use this crap to help me get clear about what I really do prefer, and continue to refine and hone my creations.

Step One: List out the stuff you don’t like.

Step Two: Flip those things to define what you do prefer.

Now, I know I am ‘beating the negative drum’ by even having a column one – but sometimes that is all we have access to.  It can be a good starting place to list out the stuff that bugs you about whatever situation you are working with.  Then ‘FLIP IT’ to figure out what you do want (and what your non-physical self is already enjoying!).

Step Three: Ignore the crap and focus on the gold! Tell and new story and get into the vortex!

Now that I’ve got column two defined, my total job now is to take my focus off of column one and put it solely and exclusively on column two.  With clients I’ll get them to put a big ‘X’ through the first column and/or cut that column off and shred it.  You really want to put it out of your focus and consciousness and instead turn it to the gold that that it has birthed.

Column two is the gold.  It is what I really want (or my closest sense of it to date).  Now my work is to become very familiar with what it feels like to have those things (in essence to become like my non-physical self who already has it).  And, if I do my focusing properly, I will feel good in the now (this is a reward in and of itself) and, because I am now being (vibrating) that new energy, I will attract the essence of what I truly want in some form or other (i.e. either through this great guy or some other great form).

Become a Vibrational Match:

So, how does one become a vibrational match to the second column?  By thinking about it, writing about it, finding the feeling place of it, getting those feeling coursing through your system.  By telling the new story of someone who has and is living this.

At last weekend’s workshops (and on February’s cruise) Abraham again and again used a particular process called The Focus Wheel.  The Focus Wheel is my favorite process too.  So, my task now is to do focus wheels on all the different things in my second column, Other great processes that work well with this subject area: Scripting, Virtual Reality, Positive Aspects and Wouldn’t It Be Nice If.  (Click thru on the links and you’ll be taken to previous articles and blog posts).

All of these processes help me focus on the good feeling column 2 stuff – they are like mental training wheels.  Its not just the thinking that does the trick (although the words are a starting place) but it’s the underlying FEELING that is really key.  I’ve got to actually feel and make familiar those column two things in order to bring them into my physical world life.  Its not ‘get them and I will feel better’.  Its ‘feel better and I will get them’.  The inner work must be done before the outer world will shift.

I hope some of that make sense!  It will for those of you who are already into Abraham’s work and/or have been through my SHIFT-IT programs.  If all of this Law of Attraction material is brand new for you … a good starting place are the links above and the Ask And It Is Given Book.  Happy vibrating!  And, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on my column two manifestations!

© 2009 Christina L. Merkley

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this blurb with it:

Christina Merkley, “The SHIFT-IT Coach” and creator of the SHIFT-IT Method® is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Graphic Facilitation and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and groups in defining and getting what they really, really want. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com

April 15, 4-5:30 pm Pacific: Intro to Graphic Coaching – Free Webinar: What’s all the buzz about? Come see and hear what ‘graphics-enhanced’ coaching is all about in this FR-EE Webinar. Where this unique, powerful and fun work originated from, how it’s applied with groups and individuals, my own SHIFT-IT story as a pioneer in ‘graphic coaching’ … and how YOU can use visuals to enhance your own consulting, facilitation and/or coaching business. Details to be Announced in a Week!

May 20-22, 2009: The Graphic Coaching Clinic. Ready for a fun, new, effective and client-pleasing coaching tool?!  Join the graphic revolution with my first ever Graphic Coaching Clinic – training other helping professionals in the foundational graphic skills to work visually with your own clients. Uber effective way to work with your clients, and adds fun and enjoyment for you! Powerful differentiator to make you stand out from the crowd. Plus it’s held in gorgeous Victoria, BC (a nurturing professional development experience). Just 3 spots left!  More Info.

I’m lucky that I like to write … its comes in handy for business. Writing in my e-zine, on the blog, in notes to my clients, etc. I’m also fortunate that folks seem to resonate with my writing. I often hear comments like ‘its like you are writing just to me’ and ‘I can hear your voice talking … like its just you and me sitting down’. To me, that is the highest form of compliment, as that is exactly what I aim for in my writing. In fact, I have little tricks to help me do that – to keep the energy pure.

When I write, I think directly of my clients … I get images of them swirling around in my mind. Many of them have been in my studio (so I know what they look like) but since I’m a kinaesthetic learner (I think more in feelings than visuals actually) … I mostly ‘sense’ or ‘energetically feel’ my readers and how they respond to what I am trying to communicate in my writing. We have a sort of dialogue or internal connection.

Since I have many clients who I can draw on, it’s easy for me … I have real people who I think of when I write. But I also sometimes get a sense of people who are about to be attracted to me. People who are ready to connect with me and my unique type of work. People who are my next steps too … just ready to show up and teach me something in the process of our work together (I’m always both a teacher and a student in my work … its an interesting two-way co-creation).

I’ve been sharing these thoughts about my writing process with several of my clients lately who have asked how i do it.  Women who are in transition with their business and are going through the sometimes awkward and frustrating process of re-identity. Changing what they have been doing (and being) for a while to something else … and haven’t completely defined what their new thing is. They are working through a clarity process.

Because their new identity hasn’t fully grocked … they feel a little stuck with their web presence (their website and promotional copy doesn’t fit them anymore … so they are going through the process of revamping and editing it).

To cut through the clutter I work with them to identify what they really love and who they really enjoy working with – their ideal client. Paring it back to basics which can then be built upon (but you’ve got to get the foundation set right first).

For a few, I’ve been recommending the work of my good friend and copywriting mentor, Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero … in particular an exercise she does … with a little visual twist that I’ve added in.

Lorrie has a concept that she calls a ‘tarket’. If I remember right, it means a target market of one. It’s about honing down and getting very clear about who your ideal ‘target market of one’ is. That you define this person very specifically … down to the specifics of where they live, how old they are, what their life circumstances are like, the state of their relationships,

I love this exercise because of it makes you focus very directly – and upon who you do want to work with (not who you don’t) … so its very aligned with Law of Attraction principles.

Because of the graphic/visual nature of my work, I attract a lot of creative people, some with really strong artistic talents. In addition to Lorrie’s exercise, I suggest to the artists that they literally ‘draw out’ their tarket. Make a sketch, picture or painting of their ideal client … and even frame that picture and keep it on their desk. And look at that picture when they write their website copy, e-zine articles, blog posts, etc. So they energetically connect with the people who their services are for.

One of my clients, Ellen Zucker, is an astrologer and tarot card reader from the East Coast. For years Ellen has had a party entertaining business, called Faces and Fortunes, where she does caricature sketches and tarot readings at parties.

Ellen attended one of my graphic skills trainings last year, exploring the possibility of transferring her artistic skills into graphic recording and graphic facilitation (using visuals during business meetings and other public gatherings). While she’s toned down the possibility of becoming a Graphic Recorder, she has turned up the idea of adding visuals to her work as an astrologer and tarot reader … becoming a tarot strategist if you will (with her own custom process and set of visual templates).

Recently I explained Lorrie’s tarket idea to her and suggested she do some deep thinking about what her new-and-improved-business is about and who it is meant for. As she was an artist, I recommended that she literally draw out a composite of her tarket … and give her  name as Lorrie also suggests. 

Ellen has since enrolled  in Lorrie’s wonderful She Factor Copywriting Bootcamp (highly recommended) … and, she’s defined and drawn out her tarket, called “Lisa Jacobs”. 

   ”Meet Lisa Jacobs. She is 50 years old, both internet and business
savvy. She has survived life’s ups and downs and is now living with
her second husband, John, and their 12 year-old daughter Meghan and
an orange tabby named Sam in a rehabbed turn-of-the-century Victorian
home in Montclair, NJ (suburban NYC). She lives near lots of ethnic
restaurants, quaint shops, and a commuter train into Manhattan.

Her home is large, comfortable, appealing, and furnished with all
kinds of interesting furniture and crafts she picks up at flea
markets and craft shows. There are hanging plants in the windows and
fresh vegetables growing in the garden.

She is a college graduate—her major was Psychology and her minor,
Commercial Art. She is spiritual rather than religious and is
fascinated by the metaphysical.

She came of age during the heyday of the Women’s movement and
considers herself to be progressive in her politics. She voted for
Hillary in the Democratic primary and for Obama in the presidential
race.

Her parents live nearby in a retirement community and they have
dinner once a month. Although in generally good health, they are
beginning to slow down and are becoming more frail. As a result, Lisa
finds she is checking in on them more and more often.

Lisa is proud of the living she makes as a graphic designer and has
achieved financial independence in her own right. Over the years she
has cultivated a loyal clientele. She stays up to date on the latest
digital advances and she also sells a line of handmade jewelry online
that she created. She is a voracious reader, both fiction and non-
fiction, and stays up to date with current events and the issues of
the day.

It wasn’t always that way. Her working class family encouraged both
hard work and education. She married her high school sweet heart,
but, at that point in her life, her early twenties, Lisa found
married life too stifling. She divorced soon after, and with little
money, built a life for herself. She was very proud of her independence.

She married a second time, ten years later, when she was in her late-
thirties. This marriage has proven to be more fulfilling and stable.

While her life took many twists and turns, she is generally content
and proud of the life she has built.

And then came the curve ball…  “

If this sounds like you, I recommend contacting Ellen … she does fascinating astrological and tarot readings for women who life has thrown a curve ball too, now with a visual twist!  And, thanks for Ellen for allowing me to share her Lisa Jacobs work, so you can see how adding visuals (and heart!) to your marketing can make the process more enjoyable, tangible and fun! 

Christina Merkley

The SHIFT-IT Coach

March 1 – May 17: (Level 2): Merkley’s Manifestation Mastermind: This advanced experience is for past SHIFT-IT alums (Home Kit purchasers, Group Coaching participants, or Private Retreat attendees). Now that you have a strong foundation established via the Merkley Maps, you’re ready for even deeper Law of Attraction processes and principles. Also includes real world tools of internet marketing, web technology, virtual team creation, etc. — so you marry inner and outer tools in order to create your desired reality. This is a 12-week webinar program (no travel – all calls recorded). More Info

May 20-22, 2009: The Graphic Coaching Clinic. My first ever fundamental skills training exclusively focused on “graphic coaching” – using visuals in coaching, counseling and personal growth settings. Full Details and Significant Early Bird Special Next Issue!

There must be something in the air right now, because a lot of my clients are focusing on ‘relationship’ in their coaching sessions.  Either that, or its just good old ‘like attracts like’ happening as this is an area that I’m focusing on presently– so I’m attracting matching clients.  It’s amazing how that works.

I turned 40 back in July and something seems to have shifted – its like I’ve been ‘adultified’ … in a good way (instead of the boring, staid way I’ve been resisting).  I moved into a great new place, made significant decisions about my work and creativity, stepped it up with my m0ney and pr0spertity – and I also feel myself turning optimistically to the relationship area of my life (which has been on the backburner for quite some time).

My clients generally are in the 35-60s age range and predominantly women. While some are happily partnered and their coaching is focused on other areas (personal identity, right livelihood, m0ney, etc), others are on the quest to find a compatible and enjoyable mate.  Some, like me, have the biological clock ramifications women of our age face.  While others have moved beyond the ‘kids, no kids, somebody else’s kids’ stage, onto just wanting to find someone great to share their time with.

While it’s obviously ironic to be coaching women who have some of the same circumstances that I do (I feel at times I should be paying them for the double duty I get out of their coaching sessions). There is something to be said for knowing and empathizing with one’s clientele and thankfully the Law of Attraction application is the same, no matter what the topic. The aim is always to get focused on things that feel good and on what you truly want (as opposed to what you don’t want).

So, in case you are a woman who fits this profile, or someone who is curious about how Law of Attraction works in the area of relationship (this works for both men and for women!), here are some tips for aligning your energy properly in this fascinating area of life:

Tip #1: Focus on What Feels Good From Your Past
The most common problem when working with people who want to SHIFT the relationship area of their life is that they want to tell me all about their crap from the past. I say this lovingly because for years that is what I unknowingly did too.  From a Law of Attraction point of view, you will never get what you want by focusing on what didn’t work or didn’t feel good, or what summons bad feelings in you.  You need to get yourself off of that as quickly as possible and onto what does feel good.

I will ask clients (and myself!) to be more selective in their thinking and speaking – to go back in time and tell me a few good feeling stories.  Stories of dating, romance, partnership experiences that were fun, enjoyable, pleasureable, etc. Sometimes I get a few sexy stories thrown in that are educational too, hee hee.  It takes a while for a person used to talking about the bad stuff to shift and instead start talking about the good stuff. But when they do, it is a beautiful thing. The energy begins to change.  And it’s this energy shift that the Law of Attraction is all about!

Tip #2: Talk About Relationships That You Like
After clients have told a few good stories about their own past dating and relationship experiences (and have started to feel the shift in energy that that brings), I next ask them to tell me about relationships that they like.  It might be in their immediate circle of family, friends, or colleagues.  Or, if there is nobody immediately around them whose relationship they admire, I’ll ask them to tell me about famous people’s relationships that they are intrigued by (in a good way).

It doesn’t matter if what they think about a celebrities’ relationship is true or not.  What matters is that in sharing their positive projection about it, they stir up positive emotions – and while they are doing so, they emit a more positive vibration themselves, which goes out into the universal energy field as an improved signal from them.  In effect, they have interrupted their negative habitual way of focusing about relationship and have replaced it with something lighter, more optimistic and fun.  Now the universe will read a different harmonic coming from them and will bring them something that matches their new tune.

Tip #3: Do Energetic Piggybacking
Once you have identified a relationship that you like, you can take it to the next level and do something I call ‘energetic piggybacking’.  Energetic piggybacking basically means that you pretend you are someone else in order to feel what it feels like to be them.  So, in this case, you are pretending you are the person whose relationship you admire.

To give you an idea about what I mean, I will piggyback off a person whose relationship I admire – a celebrity.  Remember, it’s not so much about the actual celebrity, as it’s about what you positively project onto that celebrity.  I remind you about this, because I’m picking someone who is kind of a lightning rod (particularly in the relationship area) – Angelina Jolie.

To me, Angelina represents a strong, creative, independent, caring woman who has created a unique lifestyle, family and relationship.  She’s a great person for me to piggyback off of (but not so great if you happen to think she is a home wrecker or voodoo woman like some folks do!).   So, here goes (remember, I pretend I am her in order to ‘find the feeling place’ of what she has created):

Mmmmmmm. I got the heart chakra revving on that one.  The point is not to become another Angelina Jolie but to tap into the energy of what she is an archetype of.  By poking around and trying on the relationship lives of others, we can find the energy of them that we are in alignment with too.

I won’t attract exactly what she has (I don’t think Brad Pitt is going anywhere, darn it … and I’m still unfortunately have conflicting energy about the whole kid/familiy thing), but I resonate and align with a lot of what she represents to me. And by habitually summoning that energy (energetic piggy backing is just one way), I will attract the essence of that into my life, in forms that suit me.

Tip #4: Consider Their Core Beliefs
Its helpful to poke around and feel what someone else’s relationship feels like, from the inside out. However, in order for that person to have manifested that relationship they must have some good working core beliefs about relationships and their ability to have and be in one.

Ask yourself … what is it that they are telling themselves about relationship in order to have the one that they do? What is it that they tell themselves about themselves? How do they think and feel about themselves, at a deep core level?

Yes, you can never really know how someone thinks and feels inside … unless you can ask them and they are open and aware enough to tell you. But if you don’t have that kind of access, it is useful to take a good guess. And your guess will give you some clues about what YOU need to cultivate within yourself in order to have that same kind of relationship. They are a vibrational match to that relationship because of what they habitually focus on and tell themselves. What do you need to start thinking and feeling in order to do the same?

So, Try It Yourself:
There are many ways to go about summoning the energy of the kind of relationship you are in the process of attracting.  Space dictates that I can only write about a handful of them in this little article. But hopefully I have given you a taste of the power of deliberately placing yourself in the energy of what you want in relationship.  Remember, you are the creator of your own reality.  Its what you habitually focus on that shows up in your life.  Do the work of deliberately focusing on what feels good and your outside life will follow suit, if that is what you really want.

© 2009 Christina L. Merkley

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this blurb with it:

Christina Merkley, “The SHIFT-IT Coach” and creator of the SHIFT-IT Method® is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Graphic Facilitation and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and groups in defining and getting what they really, really want. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com