A NOTE FROM CHRISTINA:
Fit in a little trip to snowy Edmonton last week (for those who aren't Canadians, Edmonton is the capital of Alberta, the next province over from the coast where I live). My Dad's family is from Alberta and I was there to attend the bridal shower and bachelorette of my cousin Carla (daughter of my Dad's sister ... Carla moved to Victoria three years ago and we've become good friends). It was a really nice trip. Great to see the farm where Uncle Dale grew up and meet the other side of Carla's family, as well as her soon to be mother and sister in law.
Driving Into Uncle Dale's
Before She Heads Out on the Town
Carla's upcoming wedding is special for me, not only because she's such a sweet, thoughtful and fun gal (she is) but also because through it I've been honored to witness the power of alignment. The night after we did some SHIFT-IT work on her, she met the great guy she is now marrying! Wonderful demonstration of the power of alignment and good energy.
Are you looking for alignment in the love department too? If so, check out my new online series Relationship by Design co-hosted with Los Angeles 'Social Media Dating Expert' Jonathon Aslay. It's for the Over 40 crowd and focuses on our unique challenges in manifesting partnerships.
The SHIFT-IT Coach
IN YOUR WORDS
GRAPHIC COACH CERTIFICATION: A+ AND TOTALLY SURPASSED MY EXPECTATIONS
Certified Graphic Coach
"I've always been interested in drawing and art, and I'm a life coach, so Christina's visual
process intrigued me. A friend's husband had gone through her SHIFT-IT Process® and had
fabulous results. So, I signed up for her Fundamentals of
Interactive Graphics, LOVED it and wanted more! I was excited when she announced the Graphic Coach
Certification and immediately signed up. It absolutely surpassed my expectations (which were
already high). Very well organized and clear – no details left out. Christina is generous in so many
ways: sharing contracts, her visual tools, lessons learned through the years of doing her unique
work. And encouraging us to be flexible and inventive once we've learned the basics. My client work
has been such an honor. The SHIFT-IT Maps help people see their belief systems clearly, gain
confidence in their next decisions, and trust in how their life is unfolding. I give her training an
Emotional Eating Coach
CHRISTINA'S CURRICULUM: UPCOMING EVENTS
THRIVE IN THE TIME OF AWAKENING
Tuesdays, May 17-June 28, 5-6:30pm Pacific (The Teachings of THEO, with Sheila & Marcus Gillette)
Life is heating up all around us - earth alignments, political and economic upheavals, and threats to our ecology ... what's an intuitive, creative, spiritual person to do? Resist? Give up? Or, learn how to effectively engage with the time of awakening that is upon us. It's my pleasure to announce a new and very timely online collaboration with The THEO Group. Expand your perspective on the intensity of our current times (it's a good thing) and learn how to raise your vibration while lessening your resistance – to create a joyous and secure soul-directed life.
Full Details & Registration
RELATIONSHIP BY DESIGN
Wednesdays, May 25 – July 6, 2011, 5-6:30pm Pacific (with Jonathon Aslay)
Join Over-40 Online Dating Expert Jonathon Aslay and myself for this powerful, informative and fun 7-week self-exploration experience. Single, divorced, widowed? Ready to fluff up the relationship area of your life again (yes, you remember what that is!). Practical outer work methods (including the ins and outs of successful online dating) coupled with deep inner work (getting your own alignment in order as 'like attracts like'). Lead by male/female facilitation duo for balanced masculine and feminine energies (you'll be surprised by who carries what).
Full Details & Registration
The FUNDAMENTALS OF INTERACTIVE-GRAPHICS®
Public Workshop. May 19-21, 2011, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
87% of our clients, co-workers and colleagues are Visual Thinkers ... isn't it smart to learn how to
engage them in the style they prefer?! Add "Interactive-Graphics" to enhance YOUR consulting,
facilitation, training or coaching with groups or individuals. Hands-on, direct mentoring with
seasoned female pro in this lucrative niche. This professional skills training equips you with the
base skills to do Custom Chart Work, Graphic Recording, Graphic Facilitation and Graphic Coaching
--- the four main applications of working visually to enhance strategic thinking, decision-making
and performance and to reduce conflict, misunderstandings and confusion. FYI: all artistic levels
welcome, you DO NOT need to be an artist to effectively employ this client-pleasing method. Full Details and Online
***SOLD OUT, WAITLIST BEING TAKEN***
Consider a Private Workshop Instead.
Mondays, 5pm Pacific (drop-in coaching ... join the weekly community today!)
Join the growing SHIFT-IT Community! Christina's private coaching schedule is full with Accelerator and VIP clients; however she's accessible for others who want to make their SHIFTs too. This weekly tele-program offers very affordable drop-in coaching in a community atmosphere. Draw your vision, erase your resistance and get into aligned action! Includes full audio library (downloadable mp3s and forum when you can't join us live). Join Us Here.
SOFTEN THE STING OF BETRAYAL
(Now Recorded!) Listen Rather Than Read! Click Here
I tend to write The SHIFT-IT e-Zine around actual things that are happening in my own SHIFT-IT process and that of my clients – and this issue is no exception. Unfortunately the subject is betrayal, or at least perception of betrayal. Lately I have had a series of betrayals and so have some of my clients (Law of Attraction tends to work that way). Long-term friends or clients doing crappy things, esteemed mentors being hostile, employers or employees being self-centered and dates/mates acting out. Seems to be in the air lately for a lot of us.
In contemplating these events and doing my best to understand and ultimately SHIFT this energy pattern within my clients and myself, I offer the following thoughts on betrayal and how to effectively work with it if it makes an appearance in your own life.
1. Have You Done Something Similar?
The Law of Attraction operates as a big boomerang --- things of like energy cluster together. So if you are experiencing an 'it' ... there has to be a vibrational similarity somewhere within yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be experiencing it. The trick is finding where.
One obvious place to look is at your own behavior. Have you done something similar yourself ... to this person or to someone else? In the case of betrayal, first pinpoint the feelings (or vibrational stance) of what you are identifying as betrayal. How does it feel? What words would you use to describe it?
For me, the feeling of betrayal feels sharp, mean, unnecessary, gruff, rough and hurtful. Vindictive in some instances. And often I feel used and unappreciated.
After identifying the feeling state, see if you can find anything that feels similar that you might have done to someone else – intentionally or unintentionally. Think of things people have said to you about how they have felt about you or something you did. Can you find any match-ups of energy? If so, own them. If you honestly can't find anything (or not enough to explain the extent of what has manifested) then proceed to the next step.
2. Scan Your Victim Energy
In the first step, you considered your Offender Energy – honestly considering how you have perhaps done the same kind of things to attract the essence of it to you. The next step is in understanding how you attracted the betrayal by victim energy --- in your present and/or past.
Has anything happened recently to throw you off your usual game? Been a blow to your confidence or self-esteem? Left you feeling unusually vulnerable, weak or defenseless? If so, this change to your usual vibration may help explain why you are attracting additional things that match this kind of energy.
For example, you may have suffered some sort of financial or career setback. Or have been watching too much news and world events and have been sucked into feelings of vulnerability by overly empathizing, identifying or worrying about world events. If you feel weak, it can help explain why you are attracting neglectful or abusive behavior.
The other place to look for an answer is in the core of your identity via your more distant past. How did you grow up? What was your home environment like? How were you treated? What role did you carry within your family? Many coaches, therapists and helping professionals were the caretakers, fixers and pleasers in their family systems. They were trained to look after the needs of others but often their own needs were bypassed, overlooked or even neglected or abused. If this is your past, you may have some deep vibrational energy that needs to be SHIFTed ... so you attract your proper rights, needs and boundaries via other people.
3. Quell Your Impulse to Retaliate
When someone does something that triggers or activates feelings of betrayal, abandonment or shock ... it's human to have an automatic response to want to defend or retaliate --- to 'offend from the victim position' (a fitting term borrowed from relational therapist Terry Real).
While some of this may slip out in the heat of the moment ... its better to let the offending stop instead of continuing the dance of anger. We need less anger in our world, not more ... at the level of society, group and individual. Commit instead to learn how to transmute the energy into something more useful and productive ... namely your own inner work, growth and maturity.
THEO guides us that the "Time of Awakening" is upon us --- where the energies of our environment are accelerating and there is a tremendous opportunity for advanced personal growth - if we learn how to effectively deal with our emotional activations rather than blindly or reactively succumbing to them.
|4. Do Your Soul Integration / Orphan Rescue Work
|A wonderful system for working with reactive energy is The Soul Integration Process (specifically Orphan Rescue), which I've written about in previous issues. This process is from the work of gifted trance medium Sheila Gillette who brings through the Teachings of THEO (non-physical teachers).
Sheila and Marcus Gillette
**** FYI, May 17-June 28th, I co-host a first-ever webinar series with THEO and Sheila & Marcus Gillette entitled Thrive in the Time of Awakening. An in-depth course for spiritually oriented people on how to effectively deal with these massive SHIFT times we are experiencing. The acceleration of betrayal and conflict that I and many of us are experiencing can be viewed as a huge opportunity rather than a weakness or trauma ... if we harness it properly. Join us to find out how and to interact directly with THEO about your own circumstances!
5. Focus on What You Want Instead
The bottom line with these kinds of energies if we have them (whether through offender or victim) is that we need to do our personal work to soften and eliminate their existence from our energy field. The buck stops with us.
In addition to clearing and transmuting our energy through Soul Integration work ... we can also use betrayal situations to get very clear about what we do prefer instead --- and put our focus on that! To FLIP IT, FLIP IT GOOD!
The trick to attracting anything is to be it. And we become what we habitually focus on and feel. Rather than dwelling on betrayals and their toxic cocktail of emotions, instead use them to identify what you do want. And put your focus on 'finding the feeling place' of that. Of developing a familiarity and acquaintance with that energy, eventually being able to give thanks to the contrasting energy that helped get you there.
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©2011 Christina L. Merkley
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this blurb and a functional link to my
site: Christina Merkley, "The SHIFT-IT Coach" and creator of the SHIFT-IT
System®, is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in
Visual Thinking and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with
individuals, partners and conscious businesses to define and manifest
what they truly want. And, trains other helping professionals in her
innovative ways of working. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com
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ABOUT CHRISTINA MERKLEY:
The SHIFT-IT Coach &
Christina Merkley is The SHIFT-IT Coach. Creator of the SHIFT-IT System®, she guides individuals, partners and conscious companies in defining and getting what they really, really want.
A teacher of Law of Attraction, she is also an expert in visual meeting techniques, strategic planning and visioning: having worked for such notable companies as BBC, Readers Digest Funds, eBay and Stanford University. After a move from San Francisco, she now lives in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada - where she maintains a vibrant coaching, facilitation and training practice.
IN THIS ISSUE:
>>A Note From Christina
>>In Your Words
>>Featured Article: Soften The Sting of Betrayal
>>Connect with Christina
>> E-Zine & Audio Archives
Weekly Drop-in Coaching
The SHIFT-IT Home Retreat Kit®
CONNECT WITH CHRISTINA:
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Looking for more rich, SHIFT-IT content? Check out my blog for recent ramblings, resources and general interest features:
How To Create And Evolve Your Offerings
Lessons Learned from 10 Years as a Solopreneur
What's Your Default: Shame or Grandiosity?
Orphan Rescue (Part Two)
Orphan Rescue Map & Instructions (Part One)
Orphan Rescue and Resolve Developmental Delays
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