Manifestation is a real yin and yang dance. There is the yang (male) energy of taking action and ‘making’ things happen. And then there is the yin (female) energy of ‘allowing’ things to happen.
One is hard and the other is soft. One is doing oriented and the other is being. Structure versus process.
The Masculine Side:
Maybe it comes from being an eldest child, or from growing up in a military family (my Dad was a navigator in the Canadian air force), or being a product of the feminist 70s (or all of the above) … but somewhere along the line I developed a rather masculine way of being in the world. Of believing if I manage things in a strategic or hard working way, I can get the results I desire.
The masculine way of doing tasks and making things happen does work (half of my SHIFT-IT Systemâ operates from this premise). This modus operandi has certainly come in handy in my own life – in getting me through my education, starting and managing my business, developing products and courses, etc.
However, yang energy is only part of the picture and a tiring one if you take it too far. I’m learning in my 40s that one can only push a rock up a hill for so long through brute strength and will power. Eventually it’s a matter of working softer, not harder –adding in the feminine principle of learning how to chill, follow and let go.
The Feminine Side:
Whether you are a man or a woman, the feminine principle is the flip or opposite of the masculine principle. Instead of making things happening it’s about allowing or letting things happen – about following and attracting. Going with the flow. Or, if you are out of the flow, getting back into it.
I used to bristle and not understand this follower idea … until I finally found a link with my Law of Attraction studies that made it more palatable. The trustworthy leader that is followed is Source (universe, God, process, etc – use whatever word you are most comfortable with) … it knows what is best and can figure everything out and make it happen. My role is to relax, watch for the signs, and then follow them in trust. Have fun with someone else leading the dance instead of erroneously thinking I have to do it all.
When You Are Efforting Too Much:
A decade ago, back when I was taking my initial coach training (I’m a CTI Co-Active Coach) we learned the concept of ‘efforting too much’. That is when you are trying to do the work of your client yourself or trying to force something that isn’t really working. Good coaching should not be hard work – it should flow. Things should click. If they aren’t and you catch yourself feeling uptight, tensed or pressured … then chances are you have slipped into efforting and the anecdote is to LET GO.
Efforting happens in the manifestation process of trying to reach your goals too. It is easy to slip into trying too hard to make things happen and before you know it you have a major case of efforting along with all of its attendant symptoms – stressed out body and even worse, stressed out vibration!
Productively using the Law of Attraction to your advantage is all about being a master of your personal energy. If your energy is out of whack (which it is when we slip into too much efforting) then your ability to attract what you want is compromised.
When we effort we literally tense up – not only our body but our overall vibration as well. Our body becomes contracted, rigid and perhaps even grasping (ever notice your hands when you are focused on making something happen … they can be unconsciously fidgeting, held in a vice grip or even a fist).
That tenseness that happens when one slips into efforting is like a big force field that rises up and stands between you and your goals. What you want cannot get through the tense energy that you have created around yourself – it is repelled until you figure out how to soften your energy field and let things in.
Ways to Soften Your Energy (Add a Little Yin to Your Life):
Have you caught yourself with a major case of efforting? If so, let go. You need to interrupt the energy pattern you have created around yourself and fast! SHIFT your state from a Type A (masculine) to a Type Mellow (feminine) – at least long enough for a new vibration to start emanating from you.
This shift in your polarity can seem non-important, perhaps even frivolous when you are in the middle of something important — but letting go of your tense masculine state and shifting into a more supple feminine state can actually speed up your desired manifestations. It’s a case of go slow to go fast.
Here are some ways to interrupt the energy pattern of trying too hard and being too masculine in your approach.
- In your mind, turn things over to Source (let go of YOU having to do it all … you can’t!)
- Shake your hands like you are letting go of something
- Get out in nature (trees, water, air are very yin)
- Take your dog for a walk
- Pet your cat (or somebody’s else’s)
- Take a nap
- Have a shower, bath, hot tub or swim (float!)
- Meditate (a neutral vibe is better than a twisted one)
- Listen to a good guided imagery or affirmation CD
- Stretch and Exercise (get moving and breathing)
- Watch a funny or feel good movie
- Be silly with a kid
- Make a quick intuitive style doodle, drawing or painting
- Take a latte break
- Put on music that uplifts you (classical, jazz, pop, rap, heavy metal … hey, different tunes do it for different people!)
- Laugh, dance or make love with your hunky partner
- Get a massage or give one
- Breathe, breathe, and breathe!
In short, interrupt the tense state you have worked yourself into – do whatever you can to shift your state and bring some relief to your vibe. Even a little state shift can go a long way!
Stick With It
If you have been operating from a highly masculine way of being it can take some practice to appreciate the benefits of adding more yin to your repertoire. But I invite you to watch what happens when you do.
Not only will you feel better (breathing, relaxing and having fun are their own rewards) but your goals and manifestations will be attracted to you with much less effort as well. As Abraham-Hicks gently reminds us – life is supposed to be fun! And it turns out that having fun (being more in yin) has its advantages too. So go out there and have some fun, its one of the very best things you can do for yourself, your vibe and your goals … really!
P.S. GET LAW OF ATTRACTION PRIVATE SUPPORT: Looking for a good coach who knows Law of Attraction techniques and other helpful processes to help you shift? If so, I’m your gal, check out my private coaching options (both in-person and distance sessions available … all in my trademark visual style). Also SHIFT-IT Online (online class offered twice a year) incorporates Law of Attraction techniques into business and life coaching. SHIFT-IT is also available via a Home Study Kit, so you can do your own visioning and planning using Law of Attraction techniques (and visuals!) from the comfort of your own home working at your own pace.