Business growth is learning how to work effectively with the Law of Attraction (LOA) – and both can take a while to get the hang of! There are times when you are sailing along and all is going fantastic (when you are in alignment) and other times when you can’t seem to do anything right and attract one tough situation after another (not in alignment).
As my business has grown there have been plenty of ‘in the flow’ experiences — great clients, really interesting work, cool networking, amazing learning forums, increased prosperity, etc. However, there have also been some real rapids along the way too that are forcing me to grow up, exert boundaries, get a hold of myself, etc. Running a business is a huge cauldron for growth.
As you “Become Your Next Self” and go through your own growth and manifestation process, perhaps you can relate to some of these challenges along the path…
Expressing Proper Boundaries:
As part of a coaching group I belong to, I was put through a personality test called Insights Discovery Profile. I came out almost exactly even on two of the four basic personality types (now people have evidence for calling me a split personality!).
One the types (my highest by a smidgen) is the ‘Green’ persona… caring, encouraging, sharing, patient and relaxed. While there are plenty of wonderful traits to being a ‘green’, there are also some real downsides. One of the hardest things for us to do is to say ‘no’ and to clarify our needs and express them.
How does this type play out in business? Well, it can make us kind of passive and wimpy at times. We go along to get along, and can take a very long time to figure out how we really feel about things. And then do something about it (we don’t like to rock the boat).
I’ve attracted a number of situations lately that have been great practice for speaking up for and enforcing my boundaries. Putting myself into the calculation instead of just everyone else. It felt really good to clarify and then express my opinion and needs – and to feel justified in having a difference of thought from the other.
How about you? Do you forgot that your needs count and matter too? That it’s ok to look after yourself, that in fact, it’s a necessity for living well. A lot of sensitive, artistic, creative people are attracted to SHIFT-IT work (heavy green energy). Boundary education and strengthening might be in order for you too.
Tempering the Fire:
The other style that the personality test showed I had a lot of in my psyche was the ‘red’ type … the competitive, demanding, strong-willed, determined and purposeful persona (the direct opposite to my leading green energy). I have a feeling this dichotomy has been with me for a very long time — making it challenging for me to figure out myself (let alone the poor folks in my vicinity who are left scratching their heads in confusion – oy vey!).
The great side of red is that it is a driven energy. People with red get things done and push things through – and they have great confidence in themselves. A lot of service-based businesses do not survive because they are lacking this vital element. However there is a real downside or shadow aspect of the red type — that you can get way too pushy, domineering and alienate yourself from other people in your quest to succeed and get your goals met. There can be a lot of ‘road kill’ on the path up the mountain.
While I have experienced pride in enforcing my boundaries in some situations, I have experienced shame in how I have gone overboard in others. There is a big difference between sticking up for oneself and disrespecting or abusing others.
Do you relate to the red energy? If so, appreciate the gifts of your type but also consider the shadow aspects that might be causing interference and problems for you. You count and matter but so does everybody else. You might accomplish your goals with less friction if you ease up on the drive and ambition to work more pleasingly and collaboratively with others. Its not all about you.
The Other Types in The Instrument:
There are two other types to the Insights Discovery instrument – the yellows and the blues. The yellow persona is sociable, dynamic, demonstrative, enthusiastic and persuasive. And the blue persona is cautious, precise, deliberate, questioning and formal. I had quite a bit of yellow in my make up… but not so much blue.
I’ve done a lot of different tests and instruments over the years and was initially skeptical when my coach suggested this one for us all to do. However I found it really illuminating and am truly excited and grateful for the things I learned through it. Its helping with self awareness, dynamics with my team, understandings about sales and marketing, etc. If you are resonating with any of the types or the overall concept of this tool, I’d suggest finding a skilled, certified evaluator who can help you do the test and go over the results with you. See: www.insights.com.
Discernment and Integration:
Nobody is perfect… all types have their gifts and challenges. Its self-awareness and the path to integration that is the real game at stake here. I have the task of learning to discern when green is the right energy to lead with or when red is — to integrate these opposite energies within my business and myself. And you have the task of learning to best maximize whatever combination of traits make up your unique personality. Learning to work with the polarities of life to extract the best feeling state will keep us all busy and entertained for a lifetime.
© 2008 Christina L. Merkley
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Christina Merkley, “The SHIFT-IT Coach” and creator of the SHIFT-IT Method® is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Graphic Facilitation and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and groups in defining and getting what they really, really want. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com
Here’s my experience; I don’t have the color association but use the metaphor of ‘mother’ or ‘bitch’. There’s times when I’m care and want everyone to be happy and let go of the reigns and just want to make sure everyone feels good and how I feel is less important; and then I swing to the ‘bitch’ who is focused on getting results; feelings don’t matter; and ‘if ya don’t do want I say or need, then you can go elsewhere.” So — it’s a challenge for me to be firm and yet also balanced in my approach to setting boundaries, sticking with them, and also doing it in a way that doesn’t discount or invalidate others. This is my current lesson; learning how to believe in my self and hold my boundaries and getting in touch with my feelings early on; and staying true to those boundaries in a gentle yet firm way without discounting or humiliating others. I’m learning….