There must be something in the air right now, because a lot of my clients are focusing on ‘relationship’ in their coaching sessions. Either that, or its just good old ‘like attracts like’ happening as this is an area that I’m focusing on presently– so I’m attracting matching clients. It’s amazing how that works.
I turned 40 back in July and something seems to have shifted – its like I’ve been ‘adultified’ … in a good way (instead of the boring, staid way I’ve been resisting). I moved into a great new place, made significant decisions about my work and creativity, stepped it up with my m0ney and pr0spertity – and I also feel myself turning optimistically to the relationship area of my life (which has been on the backburner for quite some time).
My clients generally are in the 35-60s age range and predominantly women. While some are happily partnered and their coaching is focused on other areas (personal identity, right livelihood, m0ney, etc), others are on the quest to find a compatible and enjoyable mate. Some, like me, have the biological clock ramifications women of our age face. While others have moved beyond the ‘kids, no kids, somebody else’s kids’ stage, onto just wanting to find someone great to share their time with.
While it’s obviously ironic to be coaching women who have some of the same circumstances that I do (I feel at times I should be paying them for the double duty I get out of their coaching sessions). There is something to be said for knowing and empathizing with one’s clientele and thankfully the Law of Attraction application is the same, no matter what the topic. The aim is always to get focused on things that feel good and on what you truly want (as opposed to what you don’t want).
So, in case you are a woman who fits this profile, or someone who is curious about how Law of Attraction works in the area of relationship (this works for both men and for women!), here are some tips for aligning your energy properly in this fascinating area of life:
Tip #1: Focus on What Feels Good From Your Past
The most common problem when working with people who want to SHIFT the relationship area of their life is that they want to tell me all about their crap from the past. I say this lovingly because for years that is what I unknowingly did too. From a Law of Attraction point of view, you will never get what you want by focusing on what didn’t work or didn’t feel good, or what summons bad feelings in you. You need to get yourself off of that as quickly as possible and onto what does feel good.
I will ask clients (and myself!) to be more selective in their thinking and speaking – to go back in time and tell me a few good feeling stories. Stories of dating, romance, partnership experiences that were fun, enjoyable, pleasureable, etc. Sometimes I get a few sexy stories thrown in that are educational too, hee hee. It takes a while for a person used to talking about the bad stuff to shift and instead start talking about the good stuff. But when they do, it is a beautiful thing. The energy begins to change. And it’s this energy shift that the Law of Attraction is all about!
Tip #2: Talk About Relationships That You Like
After clients have told a few good stories about their own past dating and relationship experiences (and have started to feel the shift in energy that that brings), I next ask them to tell me about relationships that they like. It might be in their immediate circle of family, friends, or colleagues. Or, if there is nobody immediately around them whose relationship they admire, I’ll ask them to tell me about famous people’s relationships that they are intrigued by (in a good way).
It doesn’t matter if what they think about a celebrities’ relationship is true or not. What matters is that in sharing their positive projection about it, they stir up positive emotions – and while they are doing so, they emit a more positive vibration themselves, which goes out into the universal energy field as an improved signal from them. In effect, they have interrupted their negative habitual way of focusing about relationship and have replaced it with something lighter, more optimistic and fun. Now the universe will read a different harmonic coming from them and will bring them something that matches their new tune.
Tip #3: Do Energetic Piggybacking
Once you have identified a relationship that you like, you can take it to the next level and do something I call ‘energetic piggybacking’. Energetic piggybacking basically means that you pretend you are someone else in order to feel what it feels like to be them. So, in this case, you are pretending you are the person whose relationship you admire.
To give you an idea about what I mean, I will piggyback off a person whose relationship I admire – a celebrity. Remember, it’s not so much about the actual celebrity, as it’s about what you positively project onto that celebrity. I remind you about this, because I’m picking someone who is kind of a lightning rod (particularly in the relationship area) – Angelina Jolie.
To me, Angelina represents a strong, creative, independent, caring woman who has created a unique lifestyle, family and relationship. She’s a great person for me to piggyback off of (but not so great if you happen to think she is a home wrecker or voodoo woman like some folks do!). So, here goes (remember, I pretend I am her in order to ‘find the feeling place’ of what she has created):
I have a fantastic family. They are unique and original. They come from all over. I have found them and they have found me. There is such love, closeness and support of learning. We’re cool. I am able to continue to be myself and pursue my art and my passions and get paid exceedingly well for what I do. I have and know I have talent. And I am able to command a huge wage for what I do and am selective about the projects that I take on. I work with talented, charismatic people from around the globe. I am gorgeous, fit and sexy. Have great clothes (and a stylist to buy them). I am a nice person who’s cares about the world. I have a talented, attractive, sexy, caring loving husband who’s an artist in his own right and entrepreneur, who’s busy doing his thing too. We are equals. Modern. Smart. We care about other people. We’re collaborative and sometimes work together. We talk about our work and interests with each other. We have creative and interesting friends and colleagues. We are private and public. We travel the world and bring our home with us. We love our life and it loves us back.
Mmmmmmm. I got the heart chakra revving on that one. The point is not to become another Angelina Jolie but to tap into the energy of what she is an archetype of. By poking around and trying on the relationship lives of others, we can find the energy of them that we are in alignment with too.
I won’t attract exactly what she has (I don’t think Brad Pitt is going anywhere, darn it … and I’m still unfortunately have conflicting energy about the whole kid/familiy thing), but I resonate and align with a lot of what she represents to me. And by habitually summoning that energy (energetic piggy backing is just one way), I will attract the essence of that into my life, in forms that suit me.
Tip #4: Consider Their Core Beliefs
Its helpful to poke around and feel what someone else’s relationship feels like, from the inside out. However, in order for that person to have manifested that relationship they must have some good working core beliefs about relationships and their ability to have and be in one.
Ask yourself … what is it that they are telling themselves about relationship in order to have the one that they do? What is it that they tell themselves about themselves? How do they think and feel about themselves, at a deep core level?
Yes, you can never really know how someone thinks and feels inside … unless you can ask them and they are open and aware enough to tell you. But if you don’t have that kind of access, it is useful to take a good guess. And your guess will give you some clues about what YOU need to cultivate within yourself in order to have that same kind of relationship. They are a vibrational match to that relationship because of what they habitually focus on and tell themselves. What do you need to start thinking and feeling in order to do the same?
So, Try It Yourself:
There are many ways to go about summoning the energy of the kind of relationship you are in the process of attracting. Space dictates that I can only write about a handful of them in this little article. But hopefully I have given you a taste of the power of deliberately placing yourself in the energy of what you want in relationship. Remember, you are the creator of your own reality. Its what you habitually focus on that shows up in your life. Do the work of deliberately focusing on what feels good and your outside life will follow suit, if that is what you really want.
P.S. GET LAW OF ATTRACTION PRIVATE SUPPORT: Looking for a good coach who knows Law of Attraction techniques and other helpful processes to help you shift? If so, I’m your gal, check out my private coaching options (both in-person and distance sessions available … all in my trademark visual style). Also SHIFT-IT Online (online class offered twice a year) incorporates Law of Attraction techniques into business and life coaching. SHIFT-IT is also available via a Home Study Kit, so you can do your own visioning and planning using Law of Attraction techniques (and visuals!) from the comfort of your own home working at your own pace.