Get to the Heart of It

As its February, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.  I have really fond memories of this celebration as a little girl.  I think its then that I first discovered my love of paper and design – those cool little Valentines Day kits … of hearts with the little perforated edges that you popped out to give to your friends (the smell of the heavy pink and red inks, all the writing of heartfelt notes and the inevitable paper cuts).

I don’t know if it started with my Mom’s consciousness or mine, but I do remember a desire to give everyone in my class a Valentine, and not play favorites.  Something about this heart business was just so primal and tender that it wasn’t fair to single out some and leave out others – everyone must get a token of love.  The pain of being left out just struck too deep a chord to do that intentionally to someone. 

Fast forward thirty years and I still appreciate the aesthetic of Valentine’s Day – all those happy hearts and cards everywhere do perk up this otherwise drab month. However, the concern for people’s hurt and isolation is still there too.  As The SHIFT-IT coach, I’m privy to hearing people’s deepest desires and dealing with the blocks that stand in the way of manifestation. At this time of year, most poignantly with some of my single female clients, our sessions turn to love and its lonely absence.

Discovered through my professional work and through my own personal process, I’d like to share a few helpful resources for those who feel hampered or blocked in the love and ‘significant other’ area of life:

1. Calling in the One:
Katherine Woodward-Thomas

In the last 30 years, the institution of love and marriage has undergone more rapid transformation and change than the last 3000 years combined — leaving us without trusted models or guideposts.  We are literally pioneering new modes of relating. 

Along with her teaching partner Claire Zammet, Katherine Woodward-Thomas takes a deep Law of Attraction based approach to ‘Calling in the One’ … framing the journey to love as an inner growth and consciousness path.

2. Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
Dr. Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

As in all SHIFT-IT work, it’s your core, inner beliefs (and related vibrations) that are driving the outward show, and love is no exception. 

Unfortunately our adult quest for love can be greatly hindered and complicated if our childhood environment was challenging and included caretakers who weren’t capable (for a multitude of reasons) to truly be there for us. 

Dr. Karyl McBride’s work specifically deals with the legacy of growing up with a narcissist mother and how to overcome that obstacle through grief and re-parenting work.  While not specifically Law of Attraction based (not sure she even knows about it) this deep work helps you identify and work with the source of your complicated dynamic with love, so you can create healthier relating in the present.

3. The Soul Truth
Sheila & Marcus Gillette

Deep underneath the unhappy love situation of your present may lay energetically loaded vignettes and stories from your past.  If not dealt with, these old energies can wreck havoc with our desired goals and intentions. 

A channeled resource (through the gifted trance channel Sheila Gillette) the Soul Integration Process by THEO is a powerful method to identify and work with the ‘little orphans’ that act up and keep you stuck.  Once this energy is freed up, your patterns around love, and attracting and relating to your significant other can be greatly transformed.

As you can see, problems in manifesting satisfying love and healthy relationships are not shallow.  They often have deep and complicated roots.  On this Valentine’s Day, if you are single and find yourself upset by that state, please be compassionate with yourself and understand that your personal dynamics are also part of a larger collective shift this is happening in our era.  Its not ‘all your fault’ and if you have been damaged somewhere along life’s fraught path, there are proactive things you can do to create your own reality as you would like it to be. 

I wish you all the very best in SHIFTing your love vibe and please accept a virtual Valentine from me with your name and heartfelt note on it! 

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© 2010 Christina L. Merkley

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Christina Merkley, "The SHIFT-IT Coach" and creator of the SHIFT-IT System®, is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Visual Thinking and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and conscious businesses to define and manifest what they truly want. And, trains other helping professionals in her innovative ways of working.  For more information visit:

One comment on “Get to the Heart of It

  1. Heidi Alexandra Pollard on

    Great article on the shift and how others may react to your changing – very timely for me right now – I appreciate the reassurance of knowing this is a normal process!

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