One of the things we do here at SHIFT-IT Coach, Inc. is help people define and manifest their professional and personal goals. While this work is very rewarding overall, anybody who tells you that going for your goals is all sugar and spice and everything nice, is … well, full of #@!* (insert expletive of your choice).
The manifestation process can be bumpy, and that is actually as it should be. Nobody, in the process of manifesting what they want, has an entirely bump free trip.
Yes, there will be fabulous days. And yes, there will be unfabulous days. The ability to define and manifest what you want (be it professional or personal) is a journey … one where the ability to self soothe serves well.
Last issue I outlined my Outer Work Model (the practical stages and steps one needs to employ to build a successful process practice. However Outer Work is only a part of the success equation — doing your Inner Work is as, if not even more, important. You must keep an even inner keel in order to keep putting one foot in front of the other. The development of more emotional mastery is key.
For those #@!* days here are some soothing concepts to consider (note: if it’s a really, really bad day … then these may piss you off, so come back to them when your vibe settles a bit).
Feel Your Feelings:
If you are having a hard day, the first thing to do is to just allow yourself to be where you are and feel your authentic feelings. If you fight them or make them wrong, you just exasperate things. If you stuff them, there can be negative side effects (i.e. they come out in a big BLAH later or you run the risk of somatic illness).
So, if you are frustrated … be frustrated. If you are mad … be mad. If you are sad … be sad. If you are all of those things and more, well … be all of those things and more.
Human beings have feelings and some of them are negative and complicated … and that is totally ok and as it should be!
Some of the coaching that I personally do (the more meta-physical and Law of Attraction oriented) can be classified as spiritual. I love spiritual/meta-physical circles, however sometimes there is a tendency to only be comfortable with some emotions — the ‘positive’ ones; and to negate the other ones.
Human beings have a RANGE of emotions and they all serve us. Yes, its not helpful to forever stew in the negative range. You do want to get off of the negative, eventually, onto something that ultimately serves you (and those around you) better. But if you move off of it too soon, you run the risk of ‘spiritual bypass’ … paving over things in an inauthentic or incongruent way. This will not serve in the long run as you can end up living an inauthentic and incongruent life. Not something healthy for those of us who aim to live a creatively expressed life.
Work Your Layers:
When you are having a tough day, it can be very difficult to instantly shift to a better feeling state, even if you want to. That is why the first mode of approach is to feel your feelings. When we give ourselves the permission to just feel our feelings, and be who we are being in that moment, a softening eventually occurs and we’re able to connect to the next layer of feeling that lies beyond the original one. A slightly softer one. Often under the anger or frustration is sadness or other tender emotions (disappointment, yearning, despair).
In The THEO Accelerator (mastermind that I co-lead with Sheila & Marcus Gillette and THEO), this forgiveness letter process was brought forward by one of the participants as a resource for working through the layers of feelings that can often accompany a tough time in life. Its great (even though I have reservations about ‘forgiveness’ as a catch all concept to aspire to, but I’ll save that for another article). This process is a helpful way to methodically work your way through your layered emotions to get to a softer, better feeling place … a SHIFT. If one wants to call that forgiveness, then so be it.
Use It To More Clearly Define What You Do Want:
When your feelings have reached a softer place, you can now use the original #@!* for a better purpose. You can use it to define what you DO want and put your focus on that.
My terminology for this is “FLIP IT, FLIP IT GOOD” (for the Devo fans in the room). The previous blog posts below elaborate further on this helpful concept (and include links to visual tools and other resources to help you APPLY this useful technique to your own circumstances).
Some Things Take Time … And That’s Ok:
Moving up the Vibrational scale is important, but don’t take it too far. Some things cannot be rushed. They have their own timing. Big milestones like ailing loved ones, health challenges, changing financial or career trajectories, relationship transformations and other big changes (heck, even the process of becoming a decent visual practitioner) … well, they have their own timing.
Try to be patient with the time it takes for them to unfold. And try also to recognize the progress you HAVE made, rather than focusing on what still needs to occur.
©2013 Christina L. Merkley
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Author’s Bio: SHIFT-IT Coach, Inc. is a boutique training and coaching company specializing in visual and energetic process work for groups and individuals. Founded by Christina Merkley, pioneering Visual Facilitator and Coach, we work deeply with individuals, partners and conscious businesses to define and manifest what you really want. We also train Process Professionals from across the globe in our innovative ways of working. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com and