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We’ve all have them. Sometimes they last a short period. Sometimes they last weeks, months, years, decades - yikes, perhaps even a lifetime. I’m talking about downward spirals. Where negatives things pile one on top of another, until it seems that is the only reality that exists.
In the last few weeks I’ve fielded several calls from colleagues and friends who are in a down place. They’ve hit a bump, a logjam — what seems and feels like a downright calamity. They turn to me for some hope and inspiration, as they know I’ve weathered tough times and have come out the other side. So, having been through this process, I can understand it a bit and hopefully guide others about what to do and what NOT to do. So here is what I am sharing them with.
1. Recognize What You Are Doing
If you’ve got a negative spiral occurring, the first thing you need to do is recognize that you’ve got one and take responsibility. Chances are this has been building up for a while. Negative spirals don’t just come out of the blue. They are a slow build up of energy that eventually picks up speed – attracting negative situations and events like a magnet. Like attracts like. Somewhere back in the chain of events you got something you didn’t like and you really focused on it – and unfortunately, you began an attraction parade from there. Its very easy to do, and unfortunately again, our society kind of supports this way of thinking and being.
2. List the Benefits of the Trauma
When a negative event happens we always have the choice of how we are going to interpret and apply meaning to it. We can choose to think of it in a negative way and as a result get an associated lousy feeling or we can choose to think of it in a more positive way and as a result get an associated better feeling . I’m not talking about being a Pollyanna or just slapping a happy face sticker on things (to quote Abraham, my favorite Law of Attraction source). I’m talking about at least finding a slightly better feeling way to think or talk about things. Your power lies in figuring out how to think more proactively or productively about things – if needed, put a bigger picture on them.
Yes, sometimes the ‘silver lining’ approach can only be seen in hindsight. I know when I was back in San Francisco and 911 hit (and 80% of my worked dried up), my Green Card process was denied (try getting a lawyer to explain graphic facilitation to an INS official!), and my live-in relationship dissolved, all in a very short period of time, it took me a while (ok, up until about last week – hee hee, just kiddin’) to see the good in all of that. The benefit of that very trying time in my life is that it got me to stand on my own two feet in a much larger way. It got me into my ‘real’ work and made me play bigger. It got me to become my Next Self, which in the bigger picture was a very good thing!
So, if you’ve got a challenging event, or several of them (like in my previous situation) do your very best to focus on the embedded benefits. How might this situation actually be serving you? How could this be a ‘good’ thing at some level? What role can you appreciate that it might be playing in your life? List all of these things onto paper. It is really important to extract them out.
3. Remember It’s a Vibrational Game
Why is it important to do the work of pulling out the benefits? Because it’s a vibrational universe that’s why – like attracts like. Everything has a certain vibration or field to it. A more downer thought creates a more downer feeling in you. And that downer feeling is like a radio signal that goes out and attracts more downer things to you. That is why a downward spiral picks up such speed. A downer thought, creates a downer feeling. A downer feeling attracts a matching event. Which elicits another downer feeling, perhaps just a touch more intense. Which attracts another event, of a matching downer intensity. And so it goes. Until you’ve got a really bummer reality built (that’s a technical term –wink).
4. The Good News
The good news is – the same phenomenon also occurs for the upward spiral. You can course correct a negative spiral by interrupting the pattern. Stop the insanity. Turn the train around by choosing to find a slightly better thought – that will create a slightly better feeling. Which will attract a slightly better event. Which will create a slightly better thought. Which will create a slightly better feeling. And so IT goes. Except this time you are headed in the direction you really want to be – upwards and onwards!
5. Be Optimistic, Have Faith, Believe In ‘Crazy’ Possibilities
Another thing – it is good to set aside logic for a bit and allow for the possibility for ‘crazy’ things to happen. There are ways for you to come out of whatever situation you have created for yourself. It is possible for good and unexpected things to occur. I’m not suggesting that you sit around and wait for something magical to happen – no. What I am saying is to open up your thinking a tad, to allow room for something you haven’t thought of to come through. The ‘universe’ (or whatever you want to call it) has a very wide range of possibilities to draw from. Imagine and really feel that your situation is solved, and then be open to the unique forms that may show up as an answer.
6. Take Inspired, Aligned Action
You do have an active role to take in turning your downward spiral around. First, you need to do the belief and attitude and focus work we have been talking about – you need to shift your emphasis to what you really want (instead of complaining, worrying and fretting about what you don’t – and in doing so attracting all of that towards you at warp speed). And, you need to find the positive aspects in what is happening to you.
The other thing you need to do is to identify and just take your next step. Get quiet, get settled, tune into your higher self or inner coach or inner strategic planner (whatever you want to call it!) and listen for what your next step is. If you are honest with yourself and settle down enough to listen, you will know what your next step is. Then – do it!
I didn’t shift out of my situation by thoughts and attitude alone – it took lots of aligned actions as well (all successful people I know take action). You must move towards the things that you really want. You must trust yourself and foloow the inklings, whispers, intuitions and guidance that you get. As you implement one idea, the next one will emerge. They emerge, like a trail of breadcrumbs for you to follow — leading you out of your forest of worry and bad feelings, into the wide open of possibilities, hope and well being.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this blurb with it:
Christina Merkley, “The SHIFT-IT Coach” and creator of the SHIFT-IT Method® is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Graphic Facilitation and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and groups in defining and getting what they really, really want. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com.
Imagine coming to gorgeous Victoria, BC Canada. Travel across water. Nestle into a gentle and calm environment. Do really good, deep and productive thinking about yourself and your future. Feel new clarity, confidence, and commitment about your ability to attract a life that really works for you – on all levels.
Work step by step through my innovative SHIFT-IT Graphic Coaching Process® in the company of like-minded individuals. Safe, supportive and facilitated by yours truly using my trademarked graphic coaching methods. Limited to just 12 participants, act now to secure your spot (7 spots left!).
A gift to yourself that ripples for years to come.
I attended the Elias event (another channel who shares ‘create your own reality’ information), and had an interesting private session… Also had a chance to see friends and colleagues in L.A. … including Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero of Red Hot Copy, who I adore. Over the last few years we’ve become close, both utilizing the other’s services. She has taught me so much about the power of copywriting and how to ‘find my voice’. Look out for her ‘She Factor’ event in the fall … very powerful stuff.
The final leg of my trip was spent over in sunny Palm Desert. Each year I invest extensively in my own learning and development. This year I’m doing Melanie Benson Strick’s Platinum Mastermind program … along with 6 other entrepreneurs.
We had our first in-person retreat (one of three) – wonderful to be among like-minded and hearted peers discussing solutions for our growing businesses. What a blast! Can’t wait for the next one!
While coaching clients from the road these weeks, I’ve noticed a bit of a trend going on in our coaching calls. Many clients are in the process of course correcting and pulling out of a negative loop. I certainly have empathy for that kind of experience. It wasn’t that long ago that I had to pull myself up by my own mental bootstraps.
Soooo, in honor of those who are SHIFTing to a new and better reality, I’ve decided to dust off an article from a few years back … six tips on how to correct a negative spiral. An oldie, but as it is one of my highest ranked articles to date, hopefully a goodie.
FYI, I wanted to let you know of a great event that Andrea Williams (a graphics training and SHIFT-IT coaching client) is hosting May 12 - 16, 2008.
Andrea Williams, The “Make It Happen” Strategist and Women’s Business Launch Coach, is hosting the first annual Women’s Business Launch SUCCESS TeleSummit.
She’s put together an amazing line-up of speakers … including yours truly!
Great for anyone out there who is contemplating or in the throes of launching their own business.
Fifteen dynamic speakers will share inexpensive business-building promotion strategies you can use to give authentic expression to what YOU want to launch!
And you will have the choice of either phoning in to each session or streaming live over your computer. All the calls will be made available via MP3 download following the event, so you won’t miss a single session.
Ahhhhhhh. A beautiful thing happened when i was away in California …. spring had sprung in Victoria by the time i returned … and its suddenly the city of gardens.
Everything is in bloom … including the big cherry tree outside of my window.
I just had to share a snapshot as the cherry tree in bloom only lasts for a week or so at this level of intensity.
Also, I know its a little sappy to share animal photos on your blog … but I couldn’t resist. I’m dog sitting my parent’s dog, Rosco (he’s having a sleep over at my place). He’s an aging black lab going gray around the muzzle and he’s one of the sweetest dogs going.
All of my Victoria-area famiy has dogs … its quite the gathering at X-mas with a lab, beagle and irish setter running around. Some times i think they get more presents than the people do.
Due to my travel schedule, having a dog hasn’t been a possibility until very recently.
But with the switchover of my business (more phone work and people traveling to me as opposed to me to them) i am starting to entertain the idea of getting one.
Having Roscoe around has allowed me to explore with the ‘feeling place’ of having one. Trying on what it would be like. I think I like what i feel … now if only i can reframe those memories of having to get up early as a kid to walk ‘em.
At least way back then we didn’t have to follow the dog around in public with little plastic bags. I think that particular issue of dog ownership is pretty gross. Victoria is a stickler for its pooper scooper by-laws. For those dog owners out there, do you ever get over the embarrassment of having to do that? Hope so.
Taking Roscoe for a walk has also reminded me of those Cesar Milan ‘Dog Whisperer’ dvds i was into a while ago.
Fascinating study in ‘being in your power’ and tapping into your leadership ability.
Dogs need to feel secure and in stable hands. Check out the newsletter I wrote on this last year … drawing some links to how one needs to be in relationship to their Personal Vision. You need to show your Vision who is boss too. Otherwise its wagging you instead of you commanding it. Click to view article: Lessons from the Dog Whisperer.
Our Law of Attraction mastermind group is going swimmingly. One of its members from Napa, CA … Karen S. … directed us to this very interesting (and touching video). From a brain scientist who experienced a ‘conscious stroke’ and the change of perception that came with it. Her themes interestingly parallel the Abraham-Hicks material we are studying and how ‘its a vibrational universe’. Happy viewing.
Got back a few days ago from my trip to California.
Had two events on different weekends and lots of coaching and connections in between.
My first weekend was north of L.A., in a little town called Castiac.
Attended a group session of Mary Ennis who is the channel for ‘Elias’ … another non-physical intelligence that communicates ‘create-your-own-reality’ type information and interesting information on the consciousness shift that we are all currently going through. Elias communicates that the last year and a half has been a big energy wave connected to ‘perception’ and that another wave is upon us all about ‘emotion’.
I had a private session a few days later, where i was able to ask questions about how both these waves have impacted myself and my clients. Also had my impressions confirmed in terms of my ‘essence families’ and some of my personality lens that i tend to look at life through. Elias continues along the line of the Seth information from the 70s for those of you who have heard the ‘essence family’ term before.
The Elias community has pulled together in a huge way in how they record, transcribe and make accessible all of the material that Mary has channeled since first encountering Elias and her unique abilities over 13 years ago. For more info see Elias site, and The Elias Forum.
After that, I drove down to L.A. and had fun doing coaching calls from my cool little hotel room.
Stayed in this funky, mod place close to LAX called The Custom Hotel.
Sheep in the lobby and the ultimate pool party layout (although I’m over the general age limit by about a decade!).
Was really pleased to be able to see my mentor and friend, Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero for a nice lunch in Marina Del Ray. Get caught up on our lives, businesses and loves. Was sad when i had to leave her … I wish we lived closer to each other and we saw each other in person more often. I’m really going to have to manifest my bi-location lifestyle soon!
Then after that, off to meet with my own business coach Melanie Benson-Strick of Success Connections … and 7 other entrepreneurs who with me make up our Platinum Mastermind team (a year long coaching program where we support and learn from one another in intense mastermind style).
What a powerful time we had. Two full days at the Miramonte Spa in Palm Desert. Our first in-person retreat where each of us had a ‘hot seat’ to focus on our businesses and ourselves as leaders. I’m looking forward to the ripple effect that this learning will have on me and on SHIFT-IT Coach. I anticipate some really big (and cool!) advancements and changes happening to me this year due to this investment in myself.
And, I occasionally fit in some R&R too, taking advantage of the gorgeous warm weather … ahhhhhh. Lots of scribbling in my notebook and doing Law of Attraction exercises while surrounded in such abundance and luxury. Life is good, and getting better and better!
One of my SHIFT IT clients, Margaret from Denmark, asked me during one of her coaching calls to explain what my daily practice is like. She wanted to know what a regular day was like for me and what I do to live the SHIFT-IT and Law of Attraction principles that I teach and preach.
First off, I had to explain that I don’t have a regular day per se. That my schedule tends to morph according to what I have going on that week. Sometimes I have a workshop that I’m leading, or a private retreat or training that someone is coming in for. Or, many calls, interviews or sessions that I need to do by phone, Skype or webinar. So it changes all the time – and being a fan of variety I like it that way (keeps life interesting).
Clumping My Days:
I do tend to clump my days though. My coaching and other calls are usually conducted on Tuesdays or Thursdays. I save Mondays and Wednesdays for writing and working on my business (not in it). And Fridays and Saturdays are for specialty trainings and retreats (but only once or twice a month … otherwise I take a nice long weekend … interrupted maybe by a tele-seminar on Sunday morning).
As for daily practices, these are the things I regularly build into my day … they have become habits that support my lifestyle:
Record My Dreams: Each morning when I wake up I record my dreams from the night before. I learned about dream interpretation from Gayle Delaney and really like her ‘dream interview’ method. As a grad student in San Francisco back in the ‘90s, I was lucky enough to do some research for Gayle for one of her books, and study with her — and her techniques for understanding yourself thru your dreams has stuck with me.
Best to write them down when they are fresh in your mind. You can interpret them later when you have some time and are in that kind of reflective mood.
Create My Day:
While still in bed, I do another simple process to direct my energy in helpful ways. Its called ‘Create Your Day’ and I got this one from Ramtha (who I wrote about a few issues back). It’s a ‘pre-paving’ exercise. Which means that you write down very specifically how you want your day to go and how you want to be in it. Takes just a few minutes but its pretty miraculous how it shifts your energy (which is what I need cause I tend to wake up grumpy and this practice makes me re-focus my mood quickly … so I’m creating from an upbeat vibe as opposed to a grumpy vibe).
Segment Intending:
Now, I’m not 100% on this one, I forget to do it at times … it’s something called ‘segment intending’ which I learned from Abraham-Hicks. It’s basically a continuation of the Create Your Day exercise … but it’s about creating specific segments of my day as I enter them.
Our day happens in segments … the wake up segment, the dress and get ready segment, the get to your desk segment, all the different appointments and events that occur are segments. Soooo, the idea is, before each segment to take a few moments and get clear about what you want to happen before you go do it. Like setting a mini-intention. Sometimes life happens so fast it’s hard to get an intention in beforehand, but when you can, it is again miraculous how smooth things can go as a result. Your brain, the field, the universe (whatever you want to call it) likes to receive and follow directions. So with segment intending, you direct it!
Exercise and Good Food:
Things come up that occasionally interfere with this (like my recent boxing match with the Mexican parasite), however, for the most part I engage in regular, daily exercise and eat good, basic food. For me, my body seems to require regular protein to keep me balanced, stable and feeling good (fish, chicken, eggs, cottage cheese and protein shakes when I need something on the go). I follow Bill Phillip’s Body for Life and Eating for Life materials. It took several years, but I now have a lifestyle where these basics come first, then I build the rest of my schedule around them. That way they get done, and I’m working off of a strong physical and energetic foundation.
Holosync Meditation Technology:
Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m a lazy meditator – I have a very hard time sticking to a regular meditation practice and an even harder time sitting in lotus position for long periods of time (my legs just don’t work that way, never have — despite the cute graphic below!). I intellectually know the benefits of doing meditation (increased self-awareness, moving through emotional limitations, better ability to see how I am creating my world and course correct) but have a really hard time doing it in the traditional way.
So, what is the solution? For me, it’s been the Holosync Meditation program. I use it each night as I go to bed. I simply stick the custom made CD into my CD player and slap on my headset. Do I sit up as I should? … no, I prop up some pillows and lay back into them. Sometimes I drift off into sleep and that is ok by me. Life is suppose to be fun. I don’t believe meditation has to be hard. So, it works for me and I’ve been very pleased with the results I’ve gotten.
Sooooooo, those are the things that I do each day to help keep me aligned and in good vibes – my daily practices if you will. I couple these with other practices as I need them (like reviewing my vision map, doing SHIFT-IT templates (particularly the FLIP IT, Flip It Good map) and shifting my energy via Law of Attraction methods (positive aspects, focus wheels, gratitude dance, virtual reality and scriptwriting). Keeping yourself and your vibe up is a discipline. It’s a way of living. Not hard to do but definitely does require ongoing and consistent application. The more you do it the easier it gets … you get Law of Attraction working on your side. And getting in that flow is a wonderful thing!
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this blurb with it:
Christina Merkley, “The SHIFT-IT Coach” and creator of the SHIFT-IT Method® is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Graphic Facilitation and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and groups in defining and getting what they really, really want. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com
For those of you who are interested in Graphic Facilitation and Graphic Recording… I did a quick interview on the subject on Judy Nelson’s radio show last month, you can listen or download it from my articles and audio page.
April is an uber-busy month… as you receive this issue of the e-Zine, I’m flying down the west coast to L.A.
I’ll be attending a rare group event of Elias (another channel along the lines of the Abraham material), be launching my new Manifestation Mastermind (I’ll be facilitating the first two sessions from the road), conducting other coaching and training calls from a friend’s sunny Manhattan Beach patio, and then making my way over to Palm Desert to attend a coaching group that I’m a member of (I’m in a year-long platinum-level program with a great business coach… just 7 other entrepreneurs in it and this is our first in-person gathering – I’m really looking forward to it!). Then its back home for several private SHIFT-IT retreats and a private graphics training. Whew!
Last month, one of the SHIFT-IT Tele-group members (Hi Margaret from Denmark!), spent some of her private coaching time with me picking my brain about my ‘daily practice’… having me explain the kinds of things I do on a regular basis to integrate the SHIFT-IT and Law of Attraction principles into my everyday life for the results I am getting. I thought it would make a good article for the e-Zine so here it is. Share some simple things you can do to keep yourself aligned, tapped in and using LOA for you (not against you).
I attended the 
The final leg of my trip was spent over in sunny Palm Desert. Each year I invest extensively in my own learning and development. This year I’m doing 
After that, I drove down to L.A. and had fun doing coaching calls from my cool little hotel room.
Each morning when I wake up I record my dreams from the night before. I learned about dream interpretation from 
So, what is the solution? For me, it’s been the